Introducing Kuiper!

Look at that tail wagging!

Today we brought our new puppy Kuiper home to live with us. Kuiper is a Chocolate Labrador Retriever and will be our family pet but will also be trained to be Reuben's therapy dog. He is lots of fun and is already getting to know Reuben and Esther :) 

It took us a long time to choose the right kind of dog and we made sure that he came from a good breeder who was registered with the Kennel Club and the parents were healthy. We had to travel all the way up to Carlisle for him (twice) and hopefully Kuiper will love being part of our family!

People often ask me how we cope with Reuben's physical conditions, his frequent surgeries on his spine and many procedures, appointments and dealing with dressings, physio etc but I always say that the physical stuff is easy, we've been shown how to deal with all of that and it's just routine. For us the difficult bit is dealing with the unpredictability of the autistic spectrum side of Reuben's conditions - many people don't see what happens on a day-to-day, hour-by-hour basis. Reuben suffers from anxiety attacks which can be triggered by things out of our control, a stranger in a shop might trigger off a panic attack simply by being there or the tiniest of changes to routine.

An example of an anxiety attack happened 2 days ago, it was Christmas party day at school. Reuben and all the children were asked to go in party clothes, and because Reuben wasn't in school uniform he quickly became distressed. We had told him for days that Thursday he would be in his own clothes but Reuben still couldn't understand or imagine for himself and as he was walking to school seeing all the other children in their clothes instead of green uniform he started on the 'cascade meltdown' we are familiar with. You can sense the adrenaline which starts running through his body, he becomes very worked up, his arms and legs start kicking and punching out in all directions, he can run and run (fight or flight mode!) and he loses the ability to communicate so can't speak or tell you what is happening but we know by his actions that his body is flooded with panic chemicals sending him into a meltdown. When he arrived at school he was so worked up that he sat on a bench and his body shut down and he fell asleep, this is quite common for Reuben - it's like a computer re-start. The bell rang and I carried him into school asleep where his TA came and he woke up, restarted his body's computer and he was talked through the day of events before anything started. After that he had a really good day, enjoyed the party with some headphones on to dull the loud noises from the entertainer and he won pass the parcel which he was pleased about! He did a bit of dancing and came out of school happy :) 
Just little things like this cause him anxiety frequently and we are constantly planning and evaluating every scenario and talking him through things and writing social stories and writing things on the calendar to help him cope. 
We can't do it by ourselves though and there are many people who we cannot thank enough, especially our friends and family, the support of the children's workers at church and Reuben's new TA at school who has helped us so much this term, going beyond expectations & working to make social stories for him to use at home and helping us all as a family to support Reuben better with the experience she has working with children like Reuben. 
We are confident that this year Reuben will be happy at school and enjoy himself and do well, and also that having a dog in the house will have a calming effect on him and help lessen the anxiety that he suffers.

It's Christmas in 6 days, a time of anxiety for Reuben and we have learned a lot over the past few years about how to make Christmas enjoyable for someone with autism. It's mainly not to overdo things, not too much all at once so we stagger out the family visits and present opening sessions by having them on different days. Reuben can open his presents when he sees family and then he can play with his new toys as he gets them rather than a big present opening session on Christmas day where he's overwhelmed with new stuff and doesn't want to play with any of them! We ask him what he would like and he sees his presents being wrapped so he knows what most of them are and he knows which days he can open them and he's happy with that and accepts it! He has only asked for 2 trains but he has a few other presents which he has seen and is quite excited because he likes them. We haven't put a tree up this year because in previous years it has been too much for him having a great big bright tree in the house so we have bought a light up train for the window and have put lights up out of his reach so it still looks festive! On Christmas day we won't be having a big dinner, just normal Friday foods with the exception of a Christmas pudding for afters (gluten free one for Reuben) and pull some crackers which we will do every day this week so it's not too new all at once.

So that's the plan for Christmas! Hoping Reuben has a peaceful Christmas and also to everyone reading to the end of this long post that you all have a lovely Christmas too whatever you're doing! Just a note too in case you were wondering about Kuiper's name, he is named after the famous astronomer Gerard Kuiper, who the Kuiper belt in the solar system and many other stars are named after :) - pronounced Kyper! He's currently sat on my knee while I type this having a sleep after an exciting day meeting his new family and home :) 

Have a lovely Christmas and a peaceful New Year 2016!